New Movie Review: Longlegs (2024)

 Written by: Danny Albers 

If horror movies are part of your algorithm on Tik Tok or other socials, you’ve probably seen hype videos for the Nicholas Cage, Maika Monroe starred horror film Longlegs. The film takes place in the 70s and early 80s. It follows an FBI agent Lee Harker played by Maika Monroe, who as a young girl has a strange encounter with a pale, creepy old man who goes by the name longlegs. This man is a doll maker who lives in the cellar of Ms. Harker’s basement, an arrangement that she made so that Longlegs wouldn’t harm Lee. Fast forward years ahead, Lee Harker is a standout FBI agent who has a 6th sense hunch when it comes to investigating the murders that have been puppeteered by Longlegs. It’s because of this ability she’s added to the case to try and solve the letters written in a strange code by Longlegs. She figures out that there is an algorithm to his murders, tying the birthdates of the young girls that he targets to this demonic triangle that he’s trying to complete for the Devil. He gifts these girls dolls, delivered by Harker’s mother. The dolls have some type of evil power to them that causes the fathers of these families to go insane and kill their families. They catch Longlegs when Lee Harker finds a photo of him in her childhood belongings. While interrogating him, he kills himself by bashing his head on the table saying “HAIL SATAN.” Harker knows now the accomplice she must bring in is her mother, before she could complete his final act. They go to the home of her mother where she kills one of the FBI agents and fleas. Disguised as a nun, she goes to Harker’s boss's home, where she delivers the final doll to his daughter. Harker gets to the house but is too late as the magic seems to have seeped into the mind of the family. Her boss kills his wife, leading Harker to have to kill her boss and her mother. The movie ends with her trying to shoot the doll but being out of bullets. 

The aesthetic of this film is more strange than it is creepy, although some scenes are shot very well, panning out so your mind can see the implanted imagery of the horned devil. But walking out of the Regal Theater in Lake Zurich, Illinois, I couldn’t help but feel that this movie was a major disappointment. Very little did I find myself actually creeped out. The terrifying Longlegs characters are obviously just Nicholas Cage in makeup, trying way too hard to be like Charles Manson. Too many things happen that never have an explanation or reasoning behind, like what is it about these dolls that give them the power to protect who they’re gifted to? Is the devil possessing everyone of these dolls, is it a demon? What is Longlegs end goal, and why has he chosen Lee Harker to fuck with as his target. If he has the ability to hypnotize the fathers to kill their entire family, how come he has to torture and physically threaten Lee’s mother to deliver these dolls. Can’t he just mail them to his victims? There are way too many questions. The movie began suspenseful and creepy, but ended unserious, gimmicky, and stupid. This movie might be the biggest letdown of 2024 so far. 

Movie Grade: 3/10